Passing on the Love!

These two awards were so kindly given to me by Green Stone Woman.












I would like to pass the "Atta Girl" award on to Lori-Ann at Amazon Runner because she really is making a difference with the Lakota Crafts project. This project is about providing the Lakota people with income from their own traditional crafts and thus working towards alleviating their poverty. You can read all about this project here and link from her site to the shop if you are tempted for a beautiful selection of unique handmade gifts for Christmas.

I would also like to pass the "Atta Girl" award onto Tammy at From Fat to Fab. She is a true inspiration dealing with large amounts of personal and family stress whilst battling food addiction. Her fortitude never ceases to amaze me. And even though she has so much already to cope with in life she is always generous with her time in helping other bloggers. Her presence in the blogosphere really does make a difference!

I also give this award to Diane at Fit to the Finish. I don't think there has ever been a greater inspiration than someone who has really suffered with her weight and then successfully dealt with it and maintained a healthy lifestyle for 12 years - despite a further 4 pregnancies. She is making a difference to so many people who are struggling to find a way out of their weight problems. Diane proves that it CAN be done and I am so happy that she chooses to share her experience of this whole journey with us.

The Deborah Award was created by Ces for her friend midlifepoet. The explanation of this award is here (I'm unable to copy it into blogger of course) and it really is quite beautiful. This award is for special (female) blogging friends who have stuck with you through your journey.

In Gratitude I would like to pass this award on to the following people who have all offered me friendship and support through the last few months, both on my blog and through email:

Chrissie at A healthy Mind and Healthy Body
Paula at paulawannacracker
Leslie at Something Brilliant is Brewing
Tammy at From Fat to Fab
Judith at The Art of Not Working
Cheryl at Wishing and Discovering
Lori-Ann at Amazon Runner
Natalie at My Kashi Diet
Amy at No to the Deuce
Losing Waist (Don't know if I'm allowed to give her name!)
Amy at The not so secret life of a not so super together mom
Jogging Auburn at Quest for a Mile
Lisa at In Weigh Over My Head
Letta at Jumping off the Binge Wagon
Diane at Fit to the Finish
Patsy at Musings on a 100lb+ Weight Loss Journey

All can be found on my blog list. And I'm sorry that these awards are only for the ladies because I can think of a couple of men I would have passed these onto as well. Sorry guys!

I have other awards to pass on but those will have to wait for the next post. In a way, this seems like an appropriate day to be thankful for all the friendship I've been shown in the blogging community, given that it is Thanksgiving in America today.

A bit ironic that on a holiday when Americans are being thankful for the abundant lives they have, so many people are so anxious about having too much food! I hope all those who are celebrating today have a wonderful day with lots of love and healthful eating.

Anyway, what about the diet? I am on day 12 of my diet and things are going surprisingly well. I was very anxious about it all the first week. So worried I would mess things up yet again. I was super careful. Making sure I only shopped when I wasn't at all hungry, making sure I didn't go into any convenience stores after my walks - the time when I felt most vulnerable. Making sure I only bought good things at the supermarket. I was so relieved to make it through that week! My eating was perfect and I got 4 good walks - I was actually rather annoyed at myself as I felt I could have done 5 if I had put my mind to it.

However, I was still not making it to bed at a reasonable time. This has been a problem for me all year and I am so tired of it - literally! So this week I have been working on it. I reframed *getting to bed on time* as an essential part of my weight loss efforts rather than just an add on. And thus have managed to make it into bed at or before 2am the last 3 nights. I feel SO MUCH BETTER for getting into bed 2 hours earlier. It is as Sean says, you have to make it your highest priority otherwise it won't get done.

I also feel ready to add another goal to the 3 already listed, which is to build up a routine of toning exercises. So far I am doing push ups and plank exercises, and I want to add stomach crunches and leg exercises.

I am still not feeling very confident about things. For me it is not about "stringing together good days" like Jack Sh*t. To do this thing I have to focus on the bigger picture, to think in terms of weeks and months. To be constantly thinking of where I want to be in 4 weeks, in 8 weeks, about the clothes I want to be wearing in the future - all the ones I have right now which I can't currently get into. Also I am not the type of person who loses weight day by day. My body tends to save it up - sometimes for weeks - and then I have a sudden big overnight loss. I always suffer this significant delay - which is agony! So what I'm doing today, or this week, is only going to show up in about 3 weeks time. If I didn't focus really hard on the future I'd be lost. I don't even get a big water loss in the first week - in fact my body's response to healthy eating is usually to retain even more water. Urrrgh! Luckily the water retention situation is starting to resolve now.

So far this week I have done 3 walks and I feel my speed is now picking up. The last couple of days I have barely even noticed that I was walking, apart from near the end. So my fitness has improved dramatically in a very short time.

I started my walking program 3 weeks before adjusting my food intake. I actually put on a bit more weight during that time as I was still eating too much. But I was able to build up my muscles and stamina - and I think maybe this is easier without the double whammy of calorie restriction at the same time. Why is it that we always put so much strain on our bodies all in one go?

Hope you are all having a great day, whether or not you are being thankful!

Doing it!

Hi Folks. Thanks once again for so much support. You're showing me a lot of love here and I really appreciate it. Writing the last post helped me calm down a bit about things over the weekend. The problem is still there and still needs to be sorted, but I really had to put it on the backburner for now just to save my sanity - or the last shreds of it anyway.

I mentioned how sometimes in the past when everything is feeling so bad and there are seemingly unsolvable problems, I turn to the one thing that I can fix - my weight. Previously this has sometimes happened deliberately and sometimes it just happened.

I have felt out of control around food for most of the last 4 months. I have not been able to turn this thing around at all. I did manage one good week but it was a struggle and I wasn't able to sustain it. I was in the binge mode not the healthy eating mode. I failed to switch modes.

But over the weekend it happened.

Admittedly you could say I have been working up to this given that I had spent the previous 3 weeks doing a lot of walking. This gradually calmed my blood sugar down and I was able to reduce my food intake. I was still eating too much though.

It wasn't until Sunday that I was FINALLY able to start my diet and return to healthy eating. It wasn't until then that I felt able to commit to a diet and exercise plan.

I have returned to eating the Hay Way - a way of eating which is otherwise known as Food Combining. It is principally about not mixing protein and carbs at the same meal. It's a way of eating which makes sense to me and which I have sustained for long periods in the past. It's not specifically a reduction diet but can be adapted to that. And it doesn't involve counting calories. It naturally lowers your (starchy) carb intake by limiting them to one meal a day.

I have thought about going low carb and my one good week out of the last 4 months was achieved by adopting that approach. It was great for my blood sugar and I was very happy with it - apart from my skin. Over the course of just one week my skin really suffered. I had seen this in a friend over 10 years ago who was low carbing. Her skin looked dreadful. And when I tried the Atkins diet a decade ago the same thing happened.

I don't know how to solve this problem. If any low carbers have any experience of skin problems related to their eating I'd love to hear about it.

So, my goals are

1) to eat healthily for weight loss in the food combining pattern I have now re-established

2) to do a walk of at least 1 1/2 hours 4 days a week

3) to get to bed between 12 and 2am (rather than 3 and 5am)

In the last 4 days I have eaten brilliantly and done 3 long walks. I even made it through a VERY stressful Tuesday without slipping up.

It went like this - Walking into the centre of town to pay a bill at the bank (a very long queue), going to a couple of shops - one on the High St and then a trip round the supermarket and walking home with heavy shopping. Putting the washing on. Then downstair's cleaner asked if she could borrow my hoover as their's was broken. So I felt unable to relax while the washing was on because at any moment there might be a knock at the door with a question on how to empty it or just thank you for lending etc. Then when the washing had finished I had to take it to the launderette to dry it because the dryer is broken. There I had to deal with strangers and the old lady who helps run it - let's just say she's *a bit of a character*.

And, after ALL THAT I still really really wanted to do a walk! I had to stop myself for fear of overdoing it and ending up calling in a convenience store on the way home and buying the old bag of rubbish.

So, I AM DOING IT!