Wednesday, 14 April 2010

Bear meltdown and I hit the deck again

When the Bear and I arranged to meet up today I didn't realise just how eventful the afternoon would turn out to be. And not in a good way.

The Bear was tetchy to start out with.

Yesterday I took Mrs Bear to the dentist for a root canal. Mr Bear cannot accompany her due to traumatic memories of his own dental treatment. Although such things are well in the past for him - it must be over 15 years since he had any drilling in his mouth and possibly much longer than that. But he's still traumatised! The only dental treatment he's accepted since I've known him is extraction. This accounts for the fact that he only has 3 teeth left (he wears falsies). But then he only had 6 teeth (or remains of) when I met him, so the loss of 3 teeth in 9 years is not so bad. I never cease to be amazed at how those teeth hang on in there, esp when all their fellows have long since departed.

Anyway Mrs Bear's treatment went smoothly enough. And we walked into town to meet up with the Bear. We went to Dingle's cafe - yes, I completely forgot how half the staff there had seen me laying on the wall the previous week. Anyway after at least half an hour of pleasant chit chat they were suddenly at each other's throats and it was a bitter full-on domestic. If looks could kill there'd have been two dead bodies in that cafe. I found myself in a somewhat difficult position! I tried to diffuse the situation as much as possible and eventually broke it up by suggesting we get Mrs Bear home as she wasn't feeling too well after the injections. Luckily it was only a 5 minute walk. I say luckily as they walked 4 metres apart, both in a very deep sulk and refusing to look at each other. At their place I waited outside the door for the Bear to re-emerge and heard snatches of them viciously tearing one another apart.

I stayed out with the Bear for many hours as he seriously did not want to go home. It turns out she had taken a valium for the dentist stress and the kickback from that may have contributed to the flare up.

So he came out today from a still difficult domestic atmosphere.

We went to the Post Office where he expected to withdraw a payment - but the cupboard was bare so to speak. There was 0.00 pounds in his account. Not a good amount. This was swiftly followed by a meltdown. The Bear's brain has an unfortunate tendency to short circuit all powers of thought and reasoning and simply hit the panic button - in which state he cannot hear or understand anything that is said to him. He just kept saying very loudly (or actually shouting) "I cannot understand what you are saying!" This was followed by much anger, shaking, a valium and a cup of very sweet tea. We spent over two hours trying to work out what the bleep had happened to his money. After much perusal of opaque and circuitous benefits letters, and an expensive phone call to the relevant department, it turned out the payment wasn't due until next week.

In an effort to turn things around we walked to the university grounds - which is the Bear's favourite place - to see if there was anything interesting to photograph. Luckily there was blossom aplenty and we both got into "flow" as it were, forgetting all our travails, just totally absorbed in the moment of capturing so many beautiful images. I haven't felt so much at peace in a long time.

Then as we were walking back from there I caught my foot in a small pothole on the pavement and went all my length. I couldn't help crying on top of all the stress of earlier. But there was no damage apart from the shock of it and slight grazes to my palms. Possibly I may get a bruise or two, but generally my fat cushioned me from the impact.





  1. Beautiful pictures as always :)
    Sorry you were put in the middle of that argument! Never nice to have to listen to that.

  2. You do have to put up with two very difficult people. It is almost a fulltime job to diffuse any situation involving them or the Bear alone. I admire you very much. Sorry that you got caught in the pothole, but glad that you're not seriously injured. The photographs are wonderful. What colorful blossoms you have overthere. We have nothing like that here yet.

  3. Sounds like a very stressful day, but on the plus side it sounds like you handled it very well and didn't let it drag you down / in to the row with them, so good for you. Sorry to hear you had a fall, I'm glad you weren't hurt and I hope you feel OK today, no post-fall stiffness or aches and pains!
    Your photos are beautiful! Wales always seems to be a bit behind England (well, maybe not the North) so we don't have much in that line here yet! It sounds like photography is quite therapeutic for both you and the Bear, useful to know!

  4. ouch! I am glad you are okay!

    When people argue around me I get up and leave or pull out my cell phone and start texting.

  5. Sounds like a trying day! The pictures are beautiful - what are the flowers in pictures 3 and 4 that look like upside speckled purplish tulips? They are very unusual and beautiful! I hope today is a more peaceful one.

    Glad you're getting out more. I'm thinking it would be nice if you had some other folks with whom to mingle than Mr. and Mrs. Bear...they sound like a lot of work! Take care - Hugs to you :)

  6. That must have been a bad day. I hate it when people argue around me. Firstly, its nagging. And secondly, I never seem to understand what they speak!

    Lovely pictures. Have a good day!:)

  7. Hope next week is far less stressful than the last one...

    Take care

    P xx

  8. I didn't realize that you are friends with his wife as well. Is that weird for you considering your feelings for him? Glad you were not badly hurt in your fall.

  9. It sounds like the Bear is often more than a handful to handle. Glad you were able to find some peace and take some beautiful photos.

  10. Sorry you had to endure all of the drama...and especially the fall! Glad you weren't hurt badly. Your pictures are beautiful. :)

  11. It's hard not to read that and go "ARGH THE BEAR!!" because you obviously have good experiences of him through the years and have a reason for putting up with him...that does sound very stressful. Those flowers look beautiful, it's nice you were able to soak up the beauty after dealing with stress after stress.

  12. Flowers are absolutely lovely... I'm glad you were surrounded by such beauty after the domestic squabbles you witnessed. You are indeed a good friend to the Bear. So patient. Love that about y ou.

    I'm sorry about your fall. I do hope the brusing turns out to be mild. Take care of yourself friend.

  13. The flowers look checkered.. weird.
    I'm sorry you were put in that stressful situation.. I think sometimes people get too comfortable and air their business where and when they shouldn't.
    I hope those pictures bring you peaceful joy, as they did me. Thanks for sharing them.

  14. i am glad you are fine dear,its hard to face a situation like but you did well and it did not effect as bad it is proven by you blooming photos ,they are saying that surviving in hard atmosphere is a real art of living,god bless dear


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