Thursday, 29 April 2010

Pottery and a trip to Brixham

Hi Folks. Thank you for all your lovely comments. You'll be happy to hear that I've rallied a bit the last few days. And I intend not to be dragged under by suicidal thoughts again. I am going to try to find a way to step out of that mindset when it next hits, which it will at some point. I need to find a different response to what often seem at the time very seductive thoughts. Mainly it's about not being able to see any future I want to be alive in. I know I do have a future. But when I feel very down I think that there is nothing ahead of me that is worth staying alive for. There are lots of components to these negative thoughts that I need to challenge when they arise. Like NOT feeling helpless because actually I CAN make a future that is worth living for. We all create our own lives to some extent. We all have some (though to differing degrees) choice over what the future will hold. Most especially, and fundamentally, we always have a choice as to how we view our lives. A shift in perspective can paint the whole world in a very different colour.

Yesterday I went to pottery and finished off my candle holder. I left it to dry out before it goes in the kiln. I will photo it when it is glazed because you won't be able to see the detail before then. I did some engraved decoration on it and I'm hoping the glaze will very artistically run into those bits and make it look interesting. I also started work on a new piece - a vase with frilled edges.

I'm slightly worried that it was the last occasion I will be seeing the lady who helps me get out. She has been working with me the last 6 months. Next week I will be going there on my own. But as the lovely lady who runs the studio pointed out: I won't be alone when I get there. The senior (as you Americans say, and much more respectful than "elderly" as we say) couple who run the studio are pure sweetness and gentleness. A true delight. And there have never been more than two other people in the studio whilst I've been there, which is great for me as it makes it social but not overwhelming.

I'm posting pictures today of a trip I made to Brixham back in the winter time. I didn't post it then due to my long absence from the internet. I took the same train that I went to Totnes on, but got off one stop earlier at Paignton and then took a bus for the final 4 miles (if that) to Brixham. That bus journey is a killer though! It took over half an hour crawling much of the way because the traffic is so heavy. For a while we were so stationary I thought there must have been an accident further on. But no, just normal early afternoon winter traffic. Unbelievable! You may remember my complaints of the traffic in Totnes. Too much traffic seems to be a continuing theme in my life. And if it's that bad in winter, I can't even begin to imagine how it would be in summer with all the tourists.

I apologise for posting so many photos - but I just love those blues so much that it was difficult to choose! Hope you enjoy them.

Views of Brixham harbour

Walking out along the quayside

The lifeboat

Walking out along the coast


  1. Hey, don't apologise for the number of photos, the more the better! Your readers lap 'em up. And yes, the many shades of blue are lovely. (I nearly wrote "hues of blue" but it looked silly).

  2. Great photo's, the blue's are fabulous, it must have been a wonderful day xxx

  3. Quayside? I'm pretty sure you just made that word up...

  4. Lovely photos. I can't imagine seeing those kinds of landscapes every day.

  5. I loved the photos. They are all very beautiful. The sky is wonderful...:)
    Happy Friday!

  6. Hi BF - I'm so sorry I somehow missed your last post, but have now caught up on both. First, glad you're feeling better and more determined to try and change negative thinking.

    I just have to say (as you know I've said to you before) that sometimes the neurotransmitters in our brain chemistry are not percolating the way that keeps us able to maintain a somewhat even keel. When we get into a really down mindset (this is definitely true for me) it can be almost impossible to "will" our way out. It's because there is a biochemical imbalance that works against our deepest desire to find our equilibrium again. I know you've had trouble with meds and such in the past, but I always want to remind you that there are many new preparations that may be able to help and not cause you bad side effects. Okay - I'll step off my soapbox. I just care a lot about you and know how difficult and resistant depression can be.

    Your pictures this and last post are beautiful! I loved the spring colors last post, and these scenes are also amazing. You have quite a knack with the camera! And also it's great that you're doing pottery now. I look forward to seeing pictures of your creations.

  7. Hi Bearfriend, how are you today? I'm so sorry I wasn't reading blogs all week and didn't see your last post - I feel bad for not being there for you :-( Having said that I'm glad you're feeling better now. And I'm looking forward to seeing your pottery - as these gorgeous photos show, you have such a good eye for colour and shape! Brixham looks beautiful, its a shame the whole world insists on sharing it!

  8. Hi Bearfriend. As always you take wonderful photos, and thank you for sharing. It is always so nice to see them. I really miss visiting England. We went there quite often when I lived in Germany, and it is dear to my heart. But I have never been to Devon. Perhaps next time...

    I am so sorry, I missed your last post. I am glad you are feeling better. I hope that you will continue to rally and always know that we are here to listen.

  9. Please do not apologize for posting your pictures. I absolutely love them and even look forward to them. How else can I see the lovely country where you live and I agree... the blues are magnificent.

    I'm very pleased that you are enjoying your pottery class and that you're in an environment that is so soothing for you. It pleases me to no end to know that you're in a better place. Thank you for your email Bear Friend. I hear the positive echo of your post and as the others have said "we are here for you"...

  10. I love those pictures Bearfriend! Keep them coming please!

    I would love to see your pottery. If you go to my blog I have my "other" blog where I post my ceramics - called Kate's Kreations :-D

    I battle depression myself so I understand how you are feeling. Nothing is worth giving up your life though. We LOVE you and would miss you dearly and I know it is not the same as us being "there" with you but know that you make MY world a better place by your comments, your caring and concern xoxox Hope you have a good weekend and I will be thinking about you as always.

  11. I wish there was a way for you to flip a switch and turn off the depression and suicidal thoughts. Try to take care of yourself and do the best you can. Being able to take such beautiful photos and live in such an amazing place would be just one of the reasons I'd fight for my life.

  12. i LOVE The pics. the water is so vivid, and i am such a water girl!! glad things are better for you. hugs :-)

  13. Glad you have pulled yourself out of the blackness you were experiencing. This pottery studio sounds like a great tonic for you.

    Lovely photos (but curses to those camera shy ducks in the previous post!)

  14. BF, First of all I want to say thanks for your latest visit to my blog.
    I feel honored to see a photographer like you visiting and appreciating my photos.

    These shots are amazing.
    I am really enjoying these photos.

    Sky blue has been mine favourite as well.

    BF, you're doing a great job by posting your photos.
    It's a great chance for us to enjoy your surroundings while sitting thousands miles away from your area.

    I wish and pray that may you have all the best in your life. Ameen!!!

  15. You live in such a beautiful area. Thanks for sharing it with us!

  16. hello dear friend ,loved the first paragraph and red it twice keep up the strength and i love you for that, pics are wonderful i looked the fourteenth number pic for long it has a feel ,thanks for lovely sharing and take care

  17. Hello friend,
    I love your photos, they are so beautiful. The more the better. I love that you are doing pottery. I have always wanted to try that, but never did. I would love to see that piece you were working on and how it turned out. I sense you have a very artistic side to you, aside from the wonderful photos and your talent with writing.
    Hope to hear from you soon.

  18. Water in any form is my therapy. I always love your photos and never tire of them. Always hoping you'll post more!! I did get your email...thank you for responding. I'm glad you're no longer going to let those thoughts be an option for you. That relieved my heart when I read those words....and I apologize for getting too busy to respond back. You know how much I love you girl! :)


All comments gratefully appreciated!