Quite a bit of walking and some pottery!

Hi Folks. The last week has been pretty rough. I had a couple of days when I was suicidal. And a couple more of feeling very depressed and helpless about everything. On the up side I have been getting out and about a lot - mainly though not entirely with the Bear. And I started pottery classes!

The lady who helps me get out has accompanied me twice to a class at a little private studio where they only charge 5 pounds a session - a session being up to 3 hours. Pretty good value. I'm going with her again tomorrow. I couldn't even think of what I was going to make before the session, but as soon as I got there I spotted a bhuddist type of candle holder (not made of clay) and decided to take inspiration from that. I was amazed at how easily I got into it. I was completely absorbed in the process very quickly. It's as though everything else from my mind vanished and there was only this moment and the clay I was working with. I loved it! I hope to finish my candleholder tomorrow. My hope is that I can do something very clever with the glazes to cover any inadequacies there might be in the sculpting! I also already have my next item planned - a vase. I will post photos as I finish things.

I am seeing the Bear quite a lot these days. He has been spending a lot of time out and about as a way of avoiding Mrs Bear - since their big public argument. Last week he spent many hours talking about leaving her, but I think things have calmed down now.

Being out with the Bear does tend to get me moving. We always walk somewhere, and even if not a long walk - any walk is better than just sitting at home. Which is what I'd be doing otherwise. Even gentle walking with plenty of standing around burns a lot more calories than sitting.

We've been up to the university grounds again taking photographs, some of which are below. Today we walked around that area again and the Bear kept complaining that the hills were killing him etc etc etc. But I keep reminding him it's good for his heart.

The down side is the near constant grumpiness and also the chips. The Bear never eats breakfast, or anything at all before I meet up with him in the afternoon and is therefore always starving and wanting to visit a fish and chip shop. Last week I realised that I was eating about half his chips every day - and he had started buying a large portion to compensate for what I was eating. Not good. And then there are the meals out. I mean the proper meals in pubs in the evenings. With chips. And many other high fat options. I decided to draw a line under this behaviour. I am happy to walk, drink tea and coffee, and sit outside with the Bear as much as he wants, but I will not be eating any more meals out. Because I don't really enjoy the food that much and it's costing me a lot of money to eat calories I don't need.

So today we went to M and S cafe and had drinks but no food as I refused to pay and the Bear won't pay their prices. After that he had to get some chips but I didn't tuck in with him and only had a very few at the end which he left. Then we went on a walk up and around a hill ending by sitting on a bench with a long view over the hills. Then we walked back down the hill, through the uni grounds and around town. A good lot of walking!

I had my evening meal at home of a less than 400cals thai curry and rice with a pyrex dish of veg. Followed by a Muller light yoghurt.

With the sudden boiling hot weather I am really motivated to reign my eating in and establish a good routine. Which is just as well because I can't even fit into Biggest Ever Trousers and am having wear jersey stretch trousers to encase my bulk. I also cannot see myself removing my coat in public any time soon which is a real drag. I manage to take it off at pottery class by immediately putting a very large apron on which I kid myself sort of disguises my size. I rely on my delusions!
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Some sort of bog plant

 Camellias

I tried to take some pictures of these ducks but they weren't ready for their close up and protested loudly while waddling away from me.   

A tree with amazing peeling bark which the Bear informed me is a Eucalyptus tree.

Magnolias. They seem to grow especially well in this part of the country. Where I am from in the north they are very rare and difficult to grow.  

There were many petals as well as furry bud casings on the ground - which I think look like abandoned mouse coats!